This is really is it.

It's been a week of hell. I think of nothing but HIM, I dream of nothing but him, I'm even breathing nothing but him


I must admit. I really, really like this dude. But why? why him? why even like someone? Yeah, I kind of wanted to ahve sparks in my life again.
I missed the kilig feeling, the butterflies in my ass and the oh, the magic...the sparkle! *shing.shing*


But it's no way like this. i thought I already have control over me. No more lovesy-fartsy. No more falling down the cliff .NO LOVE.


But all that plans of self preservation shattered in a snap. I cant take it anymore. This is really is it.


The more I force myself to avoid feeling it, the more I get stringed to. The more I fight it, the nearer I get to the verge of giving in.


But the worst is, I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I LIKED IN HIM. My feelings has no basis. I didn't know where it came from. And I don't know where to start whenever I tell myself to stop.


Should I avoid him? AND THROW AWAY WHAT WE SOMEHOW HAVE?


Why not try to act normal. Act numb? Think like it's nothing?? HOW???


Drop by GP at 5, just an hour before class? Sacrifice my time with my friends? NO WAY!


Isn't there anyone whos felt/currently feeling what I'm feeling right now? COULD YOU LIKE COME HERE AND TELL ME WHAT TO DO ABOUT THIS?


Every braincell in my head is fucked up. My ass is getting dry with desperation. WHAT's A PRETTY GIRL TO DO?!



Life HAS to go on. This thing whom I expected o make me feel whole is making me empty. It's not like we've come to something right? Im sooo being a druhhhma quweeeen!

I believe in me. I cuhn deu thies!!!


All this drama causes me a lot of stress. It's affecting every side of my life, even my sex life my gad! And the last thing I want it to get to is my nerve.


Thus I give myself an ultimatum! 2 weeks, @ more weeks of hell baby. And I hope everything'll be alright. Help me bitches. I'm slowly drowning in this pit of confusion and maybe..gulp.. loveau. uggghhhhhhhh...



MUWAH!